


I Mean... You're Fucking Green, Babe | Damon Baird x Reader |

by TonyStarks_Girl



Category: Gears of War (Video Games)
Genre: Cliché as all hell but whatever, Damon Baird: Asshole but also somehow a big sweetheart, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, Jealousy, Just a little tiff really, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 14:06:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6082230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonyStarks_Girl/pseuds/TonyStarks_Girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You set your jaw, "Oh really? So you'd just go out and seduce some woman you happened to find attractive if your dick felt up for it?"</p><p>"Yes! But I won't, because my dick likes you." He said, punctuating his declaration with a solid poke to your chest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Mean... You're Fucking Green, Babe | Damon Baird x Reader |

"You're jealous, aren't you?"

"Of what?!" You said loudly, eyebrows crunched together and hands on your hips.

Baird blinked and suddenly held his hands out, innocently. "Nothing. Never mind. I'm sorry. Have I mentioned how beautiful you look today?"

You rolled your eyes, "Shut up."

"Na, I mean it! Your hair… It looks so… Beautiful."

You smiled slightly, "Genius IQ, can't come up with another adjective?"

"Hey, I spend my days building shit to kill Locust, not come up with some poetic, cheesy bullshit."

Your newfound good mood was gone as quickly as it came, "Hm."

Damon sighed and shut his beauteous blue eyes, "Babe… Come on now. Why you bein' this way?"

"I'm not 'being' anything."

The blond crossed his arms, "Oh really? You're _not_  getting all bitchy for no reason?"

"Absolutely not."

"Hmm… In that case, I'll be in the shop."

You huffed, turning back to cleaning off your Gnasher Shotgun. Your husband shut his eyes tight, balling his fists up and very slowly exhaling.

"What. Is. The problem?" He asked slowly.

"I don't have one. What's yours?"

Damon grabbed his hair, biting down on his tongue to avoid screaming in frustration until his lungs gave out. He took a deep breath before walking away, staying deathly silent, which was completely against the norm.

As he sat down at his regular bench to work on fixing the trigger on a Lancer- _your_ freaking Lancer-while the newest recruit sat on the other side of the shop, looking up at him after his silent entrance.

"You okay, Damon?" She asked kindly. She wasn't necessarily a soldier, she was much better as an engineer and a techie, so naturally she and Baird got on well.

He shook his head slightly, his apprentice almost pouting. She moved to the opposite side of his table, sitting down and trying to get a good look of his troubled face.

"What happened? You were fine ten minutes ago."

"Don't worry about it, Stephanie." He muttered.

She looked down at the Lancer, "Jesus Christ, who the hell fucked that up so badly?"

He chuckled humorlessly, "The person who's pissed off at me, actually."

"Since when do you care about how people feel about you?"

"Since the day I met the damn woman."

"Woman? Oh."

He nodded and pulled the trigger, dismayed when it didn't work. A tired sigh escaped his lips and his large hand was plastered against his forehead, the impending headache definitely coming quickly.

"Yeah, a woman. A completely ridiculous, complicated as all hell, bipolar, pain in the ass just flat-out bitch."

Stephanie raised one of her eyebrows, "She sounds horrible. Why do you associate with her, much less care if she's angry with you?"

Damon sighed and looked into her green eyes, "Because I married her, kid "

The young redhead took a look of shock, "You never said you were married."

Baird slipped off his brown left glove, revealing a golden band sitting proudly upon his ring finger. He pulled it back on, "You didn't ask."

"How long have you been married?"

"Eighteen years. One year before E-Day happened and we were fucked."

"It's amazing how you've both managed to stay alive, much less stay together."

"It's because of the friggin' amazing weapons I design so neither of us do die. Now go on, I've gotta get this Lancer fixed and change the skin so I can present it as a shitty peace offering."

"Why's she mad?" The twenty-two year old inquired, not experienced in any way on how love and relationships functioned.

"Beats the hell outta me. Now get, it's late."

The young woman pouted and left, arms crossed. Damon briefly noted how you often did the same, and was positive all women were wired to fucking drive him mad. Stephanie was a good kid with a lot of heart and even more potential. Still young and still extremely plagued by the gift of naïvety, but a good kid.

Baird continued to work on your Lancer, wondering if the day would come where he didn't have to fix a piece of equipment you fucked up. His brow was furrowed as he worked, his complex mind was also filled with thoughts of you.

What the hell were you so angry about? He suspected it had something to do with Stephanie, but what for he sure as hell didn't know. He didn't have a thing for her in the slightest. His eyes and love were for you and you only. Baird always thought he'd made that clear to you since the day you were married.

Admittedly, he'd been hanging out with her quite a bit. But it was so rare for him to find someone to bond with over the technical stuff. No one quite had that ambition that she did. Baird didn't really have friends, besides Cole, and on another level the rest of Delta Squad, but they weren't exactly smart in the way that he was. Stephanie, however, did have those engineering, random, nerdy type of smarts.

And if you were angry with him for that, then what the hell kind of wife were you?

xXx

It was about one in the morning when Baird finished fixing your Lancer. He didn't even know how the hell he did it, but he took the accomplishment in stride. Only you could screw up your rifle so horribly, and only he could fix it. And just because he was a nice guy like that, he went ahead and changed the skin.

He was too good at this husband job.

Its base coat was pure white (which was a risky job for a guy with a dirty shop like his) and there were red splats throughout, mimicking the way Locust blood often ended up on your Lancer after you cut a grub in half. He'd knew you'd appreciate it and that it might just get you to open up to him.

Damon stripped down to his black boxer briefs, goggles being set down on his dresser as usual. He pulled back the covers and laid down, pressing himself against your back. He moved his arms around your torso and kissed the shell of your ear.

"I know you're awake, you little bitch, so stop faking."

You sat up and turned on the light, looking down at him completely unimpressed. His pink lips pressed up against your own, and were met with little push back. The man closed his eyes, maneuvering onto his back, a rather loud grumble emanating from deep within his chest.

"It's been like five hours now, and you're still pissed off?"

"Three, and yes, I am. I get that we're "fighting" right now but the last fucking thing I'd expect from you of all people is to send your little plaything to come bitch at me for being a shitty wife."

Blue eyes popped open and his muscled body sat up immediately. "Excuse me, I don't think I heard you correctly."

"You heard exactly what I said, Damon Baird!"

"I don't know what I should be pissed off about the most. You implying I'm cheating, which I'm not, the fact that Stephanie came and confronted you, or the fact that it's 1:15 in the God damn morning and I'm not asleep right now because _you_  wanna fight."

You sat up on your knees, the black bra and underwear almost tempting Damon to initiate sex. But he resisted, because frankly he was too fucking irritated with your behavior to turn on his seductive charms that only ever worked on you. Instead he resolved to sit up straight, almost level with you, a certain fire in his eyes.

"I'm not the one spending hours and hours every fucking day with the new girl because she's hot and smart."

"I don't "hang out" with her because she's hot. I haven't looked at her once and thought 'Damn, I wanna bang her.' I look at her and see an apprentice, which is exactly what she is."

You crossed your arms, "Sure. And I suppose you're just teaching her until four in the morning, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Well, if she was a virgin prior to you, she sure as hell isn't one now, due to your "lessons.""

The engineer quickly sat up on his knees, taller than you and frankly the most intimidating he'd ever been towards you in his life, "Woman, how the fuck are you gonna accuse me of cheating?! I didn't marry you for nothing! If I wanted any other piece of ass, I'd get it."

You set your jaw, "Oh really? So you'd just go out and seduce some woman you happened to find attractive if your dick felt up for it?"

"Yes! But I won't, because my dick likes _you_." He said, punctuating his declaration with a solid poke to your chest.

You rolled your eyes, "And you think I'll believe that? It's been three months! I go to bed alone every god damn night, thinking of how you'd prefer to be with a young, naïve little bitch without scars, stretch marks, and laugh lines. I remember how twenty years ago you were all over me, never letting a day go by without telling me that I was beautiful, or that you loved me. I was flawless then. But now I'm not and up until she came around you haven't had anyone else attract you! But now she's here, and you're gone. So yes, Damon. I'm jealous." Crystal tears glazed over your eyes, the waters shimmering and waiting to fall at any given moment.

Damon carefully cupped your face and descended his lips down onto yours, thumbs wiping away your tears. His gesture was sweet and he pushed as much love as he could into his kiss, and though rather brief and simple, it was the most meaningful kiss he'd given since he said his vows with an excited "I do!"

"If I was lookin' for a perfect woman, I'd have never asked you out in the first place. What I was looking for was the perfect woman for me, and that is exactly what you have always been, even to this day. No, I'm not up your ass anymore, telling you that you're beautiful. Twenty-year-old me said whatever it took to get laid. And while I always meant it, it didn't always have the heart behind it. So now when I tell you, it's rare, but it's a lot more meaningful, at least to me. And I don't tell you I love you enough. I'll admit that. With this "job" and sucky way of life, one of us could die tomorrow. And the last thing I want is for one of us to go without you knowing how I feel. I love you, and that's the truth. All of these imperfections you deem "blemishes?" They're just fine to me. I'm not perfect. My six-pack isn't exactly chiseled anymore. My blond hair is goin' gray, strand by strand. I'm gettin' old too. I don't mind though. For a couple of forty-year-olds, I say we look pretty damn good." He kissed you again and moved his arms around you, pulling you closer.

"Only reason I'm in the shop with Stephanie so much is because I'm excited to have someone in there who knows what they're fucking doing. She's a nice friend, but I'd still take Cole over her any day. And I'd still take you over both of them. Do you really think I could hook up with a girl that was four years old when we got married? I feel my skin crawling just thinking about her now. You are the only one I have ever wanted, and that's never gonna change. Why start fresh when I've already got a woman broken down enough to deal with my shit?"

You chuckled against his skin and combed the fingers of your right hand through his hair, the other hand running along the bare skin of his back. Damon kissed your hair and pressed his forehead to yours.

"I'm sorry I've made you feel like you don't mean anything to me. And if it's any consolation…"

"Hm?"

"I changed the skin on your Lancer."

You laughed out loud and pressed a kiss against his lips, "Thank you, baby. Now can we go to bed and be on good terms again?"

Damon laid down and pulled you close enough to where he could smell your shampoo, "You're beautiful, babe, and I love you."

"I love you."

 

 

 

 

 

"…But if you ever stay in that damn shop with her past midnight again, we will fucking scrap."


End file.
